Gifts

These recent photos are somewhat simple in nature, but nonetheless, I believe, beautiful. The first is a bowl of pomegranates that my neighbors picked off their tree and offered me as a gift. In my families, pomegranates are revered for their mysterious and perfect beauty. So I was thrilled to eat receive these beautiful fruits. I ate them one night after the other, the entire thing, as a dessert. It was truly divine. ☺

The other photo is my friend Job. He is my neighbor and a student at the school where I teach. Last weekend he rescued this baby bird that had fallen out of its mother’s nest. It was Job’s lucky day because later he showed me a beautiful and perfect (empty) honeycomb from a bee’s nest that he had also found, abandoned.

Now as I write this I see them message: the perfection of nature! Pomegranates with their perfect compartments of juicy, red seeds. Beautiful baby birds and kind kids. Nature’s miracle of the production of honeycomb, intricate and strong.

I will write and post more soon. I want you all to know I love and miss community in the U.S. and wherever you are. I am also really happy here in Namibia, and finding a new equilibrium – the slower, more dignified pace of life is healing. Immersing myself in this village with true warriors and victors is an inspiration. And falling deeply into teaching is a blessing and a gift.

Update: Last weekend our school also had a visit by Ombesha Yohinga Organization, a dance and drama troupe that raises awareness about HIV/AIDs prevention, healthy lifestyles and youth leadership. These are two shots of their performance. In the second photo, the red ribbons signify those that are HIV positive.

And the final photo is of some of my students.

HAKAHANA

I recently had the honor of sitting down with Hugh Ellis, Namibian author, poet, spoken word artist, journalist and lecturer at the University of Namibia. Ever since a friend introduced me to his work last year, I have been hoping to meet Ellis because his work really resonated with me. Ellis grew up in exile from Namibia during the Namibian liberation movement, but made the decision to return to Namibia following independence.

My first question for him was broad, “what is your vision for Namibia?” He responded that he would like to see a “non-racial Namibia,” but acknowledge the difficulty in actually achieving this. His vision is for the empowerment of women and black Namibians because if any minority group is excluded, progress will be elusive and the country won’t reach any true level of understanding, healing and forward movement.

My next question was based on my experience in Namibia. As both an American and as an outsider, I find the situation incredibly complex: socially, economically, politically, racially and societally. This was part of the reason why Ellis’ work resonated so strongly with me. He puts flesh around the skeleton of the way that I often feel as a white person in post-apartheid Namibia. Right or wrong, I often feel –guilty, questioning, confused, angry, sad, and any other number of intense emotions. (Not only am I white, I am a white German-American, so I often think of my ancestors and what they may or may not have done, of the various roles they may or may not have played in history – and I question what that has to do with me, living today in 2013.) So I asked Ellis if his writing helps him to process the challenges, realities and rewards of post-apartheid Namibia. He said that, “first and foremost I ran from myself,” but that writing is about processing, it is a way of dealing with the guilt of being white in Namibia. It helps him not to obsess about the past, which doesn’t help anyone. He said his spoken word performances also help him to relate to others, and to challenge other’s ideas. I agree. Our guilt is decadent - a luxury that we cannot afford. Better, as he says, to focus on what we can do here and now, to consider what we can do to move forward, to build bridges, to heal and to reunite. Ellis addresses these concepts elegantly in his poem, “I Used to Want”

I Used to Want, by Hugh Ellis

I used to want to be black But now it’s okay to be red You see, my great grandfathers were workers They struggled as much as anyone else

I used to want to be black And who can blame me? My great grandfathers became colonialists In order to fill their rotten stomachs

I used to want to be black And you must hear my voice ‘Cause my grandfathers kept their mouths shut Even though they disapproved

Now it’s okay to be red That’s how independence came My father wrote books about repression and liberation But that’s all his story, not mine

Now it’s okay to be red Namibian sunburn on my skin I tried to learn all the languages and cultures But I almost forgot my own

I used to want to be black But now it’s okay to be red I hope my children, if and when they come Won’t have to fight these demons

Next, I asked Ellis some detailed questions about his poems, wanting to delve deeper into his progressive writing. I asked about his poem, “Baking Fruit Bread on New Year’s Eve.” In this poem, he talks about his “secret ultimate fighting bout with patriarchy.” Ellis says that this references a private, even domestic sphere, one where individuals examine their own ideologies, how we were raised, and the social roles that we have adopted. This “secret ultimate fighting bout with patriarchy” is one of challenging the norms of male dominance that are so pervasive in the media.

Exploring the work further, I told Ellis that I admire his fearless in expressing his own vulnerabilities. This is demonstrated in his poem, “The Centre,” when he acknowledges that “The soul’s not a pretty place to be,” and “I’d trade anything to avoid feeling like a tourist in my own country.” Ellis says that the beauty of poetry is that it allows you to play with metaphors and with your own identity. He said that good writers write first and foremost for themselves. Writing gives one a certain clarity to the sometimes foggy ideas we have percolating in our heads. Towards the end of our talk, I brought up Ellis poem called Hakahana, which means “hurry up” in Oshiherero, and is also one of the townships just outside of Windhoek, Namibia’s capitol. An excerpt of this poem follows below: They call this world “hurry up”

People are living on borrowed time

People are wasting their natural resources and, to tell you the truth

People are getting desperately hungry for spiritual health

They say “hurry up” and I guess we all know why

They call this location "Hurry up"

So spare a thought for people on the other side of the tracks

We must help the exploited workers, but, to tell you the truth

They must help us wasted suburbanites, too

We all say “hurry up,” and I guess we all know why

The poem sheds light on the compassion we should extend towards those who are suffering, both materially and spiritually. I asked Ellis how he believes we can bridge this divide. He said simply by having more contact with others in different situations than our own can help; but that really, everyone has to find his or her own way. Again, he said that spoken word as an art form and his journalism vocation have allowed him to work towards bridging these divides.

Finally, in his stunning poem, “Walking Like the Demon Possessed,” Ellis states that “the personal is utterly political, never has truer words been said.” The poem continues, “The things that used to give me meaning, I don’t trust them any more…..I feel disgusted at my privilege, they feel disgusted at my disgust.” My question for Ellis was how does he, given his own relative privilege as a white Namibian in post-apartheid Namibia, find his own equilibrium? He said that he simply does what he does best. He acts as a change agent through his work as a journalist and lecturer. He also strives to treat people fairly on a day-to-day basis. He speaks out where he can, and writes about the issues on his heart and mind. Peggy McIntosh says that privilege is like a backpack of invisible aids and assistance; and Hugh says that as an ally, we can share and support with what is in our respective backpacks of privilege.

I respect and admire Hugh Ellis’ poetry. It reads like the sensation of coming home. His new book, Hakahana, comes strongly recommended. He brings to light some important issues, does not shy away from addressing important, while difficult, race and reconciliation issues, and is brave enough to come forward with his very personal journey through post-apartheid Namibia. We are all healing and recovering from the various injustices, wrongs, and histories that all of us carry forward. I believe Ellis takes steps towards helping Namibia to look truthfully at its social and racial landscapes, opens important (even if challenging) discussions, and provides an avenue towards healing and reconciliation. We can all learn from his perspective and the artistic, skillful way which he portrays Namibia. I can’t wait for his next book!

ALSO, here are some PHOTOS...Below are my most recent photos:

The first two are of the local landscape – again, the beautiful Namibian sky and the bright light of the Namibian sun early in the morning.

Next, you can see some of the highlights of our school track and field meet. There are track star kids, track star runners, and a very new style of high jump!

Gender Equality

I met a Catholic father yesterday. He is Irish, but serves here in Namibia. We got into a good discussion about gender equality. We both were discussing how we have observed this in Namibia.

Too often, women here are not respected. Gender equality, power, the place and positionality of women and girls in society, combined with the realities of extreme poverty and a high unemployment rate make it challenging for women to assert their power, gain independence and to develop a strong sense of self-confidence.

Namibia has one of the highest Gini coefficients in the world, meaning it is one of the countries with the most unequal wealth distribution. In addition, the legacy of apartheid is dark and apparent. The way blacks and whites talk to and about each other is often rife with acrimony and distrust. It will take time for the country to heal, and perhaps to reach a time where there is greater social justice and a more fair chance for the poor of Namibia to improve their circumstances.

How do we untangle this web of poverty, gender inequality and economic injustice? Where do you start?

It was Theodore Roosevelt who said “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

Peace Corps is a grassroots program and thus we are working on the ground-level. At the school where I work, we have founded a youth empowerment and gender equality club. The students are meant to be change agents. The goal is for them to manifest all of their greatness, and to cultivate a strong sense of self-confidence. We are starting small, but the work which lies ahead is daunting. The roots of patriarchy run deep. We must take strong steps forward and work towards a day of a more empowered, confident generation of youth and greater gender and economic equality.

If anyone can get us there, it is surely our youth – with all of their idealism, passion and energy. Let them propel us forward. As a colleague of mine said once, the youth are not the leaders of tomorrow, they are TODAY. They are already before us as leaders.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” ― Margaret Mead

You build, sometimes you tear down, and you build again

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun. A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill and a time to heal ... a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance ... a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to lose and a time to seek; a time to rend and a time to sew; a time to keep silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace. ecclesiastes 3:1-8

In my village, there is a group of people called the “Shack-dwellers.” This is a nation-wide organization, in which citizens organize themselves and gather together to form a cooperative, staking claim over a plot of land, and pooling their resources to buy larger quantities of building materials at lower prices. They are then able to build nice, cement and concrete houses.

I noticed a parallel between this project and the various struggles and challenges that life throws our way. As I was walking by the construction, I noticed that while some of the houses are right on track, and look great, others are crooked and askew, looking precarious. Others have holes where the cement bricks were not correctly laid, leaving holes and irregularities in the walls. Later, I heard that some of the “shack-dwellers” will have to tear down their first attempts and re-build. So frustrating to build something, put a lot of effort into your project, only to have it not work out, and for you to have to start again from the beginning.

But this is exactly how life is. How many times have you gone down one path, only to realize it is the wrong way? That you had to turn around, start over, and begin afresh. It is always daunting to start over, but sometimes it is the only way to build a straight and sturdy house, on a strong foundation.

I admire these shack-dwellers for having the tenacity and courage to rebuild when they need to, to ask friends and community members for advice when they don’t know how to do something. And I admire all of us who are not afraid to recalibrate, to start over when necessary, and to try again and again to get things back on course.

(Below, you can see the shack-dwellers work, and an example of some of the imperfections. You can also see how the bricks are made.)

And here is one of my best friends at site; she is with her new baby:

And an example of the recent “facelifts” that have taken place in our village. This beautiful café, butchery and general store is a wonderful gathering place for our community.. “Ohange” means peace, as you can see in the title – and I love the name of their café, “Look 4ward!” This positive outlook epitomizes the youth who run this butchery and café!

Below are some of the world’s cutest kids, who I met on the way to the post office today:

And finally, after the rain…there is sometimes a double rainbow…check it out!

Peace Corps Approach to Development

As a Peace Corps volunteer, it is important to have a diplomatic, open and flexible approach to development, but also a critical and questioning approach to our work. If one is to begin with a brief history of development*, you can begin with the Marshall Plan after WWII, which brought in large-scale economic recovery, followed by modernization in 1950-60. From 1960 to 1970, there were big spikes in oil prices in countries such as the Middle East which suddenly had petrodollars. This resulted in loans from these affluent countries to developing ones, leading to a dependency on the richer countries. 1970-80 brought globalization and structural adjustment, in which development countries were forced to slash there national government budgets and to drastically reduce public health care and education. The results of structural adjustment have been catastrophic, and have essentially brought gross human rights violation to many countries, with many citizens left in dire need of basic health care and education. 1980-90 brough a basic needs approach and many non-governmental organizations emerged to meet this need. From 1990 to the present, the focus of development is mainly on human development.

For Peace Corps as an organization, the approach is people-centered. The focus is on people, not things. With Peace Corps, process equals product. The strategy is bottom-up, with people and our communities defining our development agenda. We are implored as volunteers to be reflective and to NEVER ASSUME that we know what is best. This is key– let the local community lead. They hold the knowledge and expertise of their culture, community, and local resources. Peace Corps Volunteers are meant to be in an accompaniment role, as facilitators, supports and sometimes project co-managers.

Peace Corps believes in a long-term vision approach. There are simply no quick fixes or temporary solutions. The idea is participatory and inclusive. Everyone has an equal voice and should own the process. We focus on capacity-building, believing that the greatest resource is the human one. Our main goal is sustainability – when we leave, there should be no change in the projects with which we are involved, because local leadership continues to be at the helm.

As Nancy Bacon, international development consultant and founder of Sou Digna, states, “Changing a culture (or society) in the long term requires the full and equal participation of those within that culture.” Taking a look at her development spectrum below is also helpful in defining the goals of development, and complements the Peace Corps approach to development quite well. In a University of Washington lecture, Bacon and Anita Verna Crofts discussed the development spectrum as shown below, with the goal being on long-term, transformational change. Such change takes time to implement, but it is the only way for locally-led, sustainable development to occur.

* Much of this post is based on a presentation given by Gilbert Collins, Peace Corps Namibia Country Director.

2013 FLYS IN!

The school year is off to a chaotic start. Perhaps it appears that way to me only, as an outsider here, caught in the cultural norms and differences between the U.S. and Namibia. Here, it takes a lot of time to register and enroll our students. We have technically been in session for two days, but no classes have as of yet taken place. (The academic year here mirrors the calendar year, with classes beginning in January and ending in December.)

In positive news, our students last year did very well. They had an over 70% pass rate, and ranked in the top ten in our region! This means teacher and student morale has recovered after the down note of the strike, which concluded 2012.

We are looking forward to the new school year and anxiously waiting to get started. Additionally, Penehafo and I will begin a women’s group in our village. We aim for this to be a positive and supportive outlet and source of support and inspiration for the women and girls in our village.

I trust and hope that YOUR 2013 is off to a good start!

The Invitation

by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.'

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.