HAKAHANA

I recently had the honor of sitting down with Hugh Ellis, Namibian author, poet, spoken word artist, journalist and lecturer at the University of Namibia. Ever since a friend introduced me to his work last year, I have been hoping to meet Ellis because his work really resonated with me. Ellis grew up in exile from Namibia during the Namibian liberation movement, but made the decision to return to Namibia following independence.

My first question for him was broad, “what is your vision for Namibia?” He responded that he would like to see a “non-racial Namibia,” but acknowledge the difficulty in actually achieving this. His vision is for the empowerment of women and black Namibians because if any minority group is excluded, progress will be elusive and the country won’t reach any true level of understanding, healing and forward movement.

My next question was based on my experience in Namibia. As both an American and as an outsider, I find the situation incredibly complex: socially, economically, politically, racially and societally. This was part of the reason why Ellis’ work resonated so strongly with me. He puts flesh around the skeleton of the way that I often feel as a white person in post-apartheid Namibia. Right or wrong, I often feel –guilty, questioning, confused, angry, sad, and any other number of intense emotions. (Not only am I white, I am a white German-American, so I often think of my ancestors and what they may or may not have done, of the various roles they may or may not have played in history – and I question what that has to do with me, living today in 2013.) So I asked Ellis if his writing helps him to process the challenges, realities and rewards of post-apartheid Namibia. He said that, “first and foremost I ran from myself,” but that writing is about processing, it is a way of dealing with the guilt of being white in Namibia. It helps him not to obsess about the past, which doesn’t help anyone. He said his spoken word performances also help him to relate to others, and to challenge other’s ideas. I agree. Our guilt is decadent - a luxury that we cannot afford. Better, as he says, to focus on what we can do here and now, to consider what we can do to move forward, to build bridges, to heal and to reunite. Ellis addresses these concepts elegantly in his poem, “I Used to Want”

I Used to Want, by Hugh Ellis

I used to want to be black But now it’s okay to be red You see, my great grandfathers were workers They struggled as much as anyone else

I used to want to be black And who can blame me? My great grandfathers became colonialists In order to fill their rotten stomachs

I used to want to be black And you must hear my voice ‘Cause my grandfathers kept their mouths shut Even though they disapproved

Now it’s okay to be red That’s how independence came My father wrote books about repression and liberation But that’s all his story, not mine

Now it’s okay to be red Namibian sunburn on my skin I tried to learn all the languages and cultures But I almost forgot my own

I used to want to be black But now it’s okay to be red I hope my children, if and when they come Won’t have to fight these demons

Next, I asked Ellis some detailed questions about his poems, wanting to delve deeper into his progressive writing. I asked about his poem, “Baking Fruit Bread on New Year’s Eve.” In this poem, he talks about his “secret ultimate fighting bout with patriarchy.” Ellis says that this references a private, even domestic sphere, one where individuals examine their own ideologies, how we were raised, and the social roles that we have adopted. This “secret ultimate fighting bout with patriarchy” is one of challenging the norms of male dominance that are so pervasive in the media.

Exploring the work further, I told Ellis that I admire his fearless in expressing his own vulnerabilities. This is demonstrated in his poem, “The Centre,” when he acknowledges that “The soul’s not a pretty place to be,” and “I’d trade anything to avoid feeling like a tourist in my own country.” Ellis says that the beauty of poetry is that it allows you to play with metaphors and with your own identity. He said that good writers write first and foremost for themselves. Writing gives one a certain clarity to the sometimes foggy ideas we have percolating in our heads. Towards the end of our talk, I brought up Ellis poem called Hakahana, which means “hurry up” in Oshiherero, and is also one of the townships just outside of Windhoek, Namibia’s capitol. An excerpt of this poem follows below: They call this world “hurry up”

People are living on borrowed time

People are wasting their natural resources and, to tell you the truth

People are getting desperately hungry for spiritual health

They say “hurry up” and I guess we all know why

They call this location "Hurry up"

So spare a thought for people on the other side of the tracks

We must help the exploited workers, but, to tell you the truth

They must help us wasted suburbanites, too

We all say “hurry up,” and I guess we all know why

The poem sheds light on the compassion we should extend towards those who are suffering, both materially and spiritually. I asked Ellis how he believes we can bridge this divide. He said simply by having more contact with others in different situations than our own can help; but that really, everyone has to find his or her own way. Again, he said that spoken word as an art form and his journalism vocation have allowed him to work towards bridging these divides.

Finally, in his stunning poem, “Walking Like the Demon Possessed,” Ellis states that “the personal is utterly political, never has truer words been said.” The poem continues, “The things that used to give me meaning, I don’t trust them any more…..I feel disgusted at my privilege, they feel disgusted at my disgust.” My question for Ellis was how does he, given his own relative privilege as a white Namibian in post-apartheid Namibia, find his own equilibrium? He said that he simply does what he does best. He acts as a change agent through his work as a journalist and lecturer. He also strives to treat people fairly on a day-to-day basis. He speaks out where he can, and writes about the issues on his heart and mind. Peggy McIntosh says that privilege is like a backpack of invisible aids and assistance; and Hugh says that as an ally, we can share and support with what is in our respective backpacks of privilege.

I respect and admire Hugh Ellis’ poetry. It reads like the sensation of coming home. His new book, Hakahana, comes strongly recommended. He brings to light some important issues, does not shy away from addressing important, while difficult, race and reconciliation issues, and is brave enough to come forward with his very personal journey through post-apartheid Namibia. We are all healing and recovering from the various injustices, wrongs, and histories that all of us carry forward. I believe Ellis takes steps towards helping Namibia to look truthfully at its social and racial landscapes, opens important (even if challenging) discussions, and provides an avenue towards healing and reconciliation. We can all learn from his perspective and the artistic, skillful way which he portrays Namibia. I can’t wait for his next book!

ALSO, here are some PHOTOS...Below are my most recent photos:

The first two are of the local landscape – again, the beautiful Namibian sky and the bright light of the Namibian sun early in the morning.

Next, you can see some of the highlights of our school track and field meet. There are track star kids, track star runners, and a very new style of high jump!