“We carry within us the wonders we seek without us.”

“We carry within us the wonders we seek without us.”

- Thomas Brown

“YOU are that which you are seeking.”

- Saint Francis

Both quoted by Mark Nepo

This bears explaining because it isn’t about ME or US per se….it is about the internal work, the internal journey that has everything to do with becoming an effective, humble, gracious human rights worker. It all starts with you – before you come clear with yourself, it is difficult to be of service to others.

Today was a breakthrough in terms of my community work. One day, I was feeling slightly sorry for myself and quite exhausted from the long run and housework; however, my perspective quickly changed when I met with the women in our village women’s group. My friend L told me that she too was tired from household chores. The difference is she was doing laundry – by hand – for 5 children in addition to herself. She has 2 of her own children, and cares for 3 of her sister’s children. (This is very common here for children to be raised by their grandparents, aunts or uncles and to rarely see their own parents.) Another member of our women’s group has lost a lot of color in her face; her skin is sallow and lifeless. She is very thin – suffering from HIV. My friend told me that weeks earlier she was so depressed she could not even get out of bed. Today, at least, she danced and sang with us and enjoyed a meal.

But the most stunning thing I witnessed today was another of our fellow community women, “Ataka,” who has nine children and, since her husband passed away, has literally nothing in terms of money or food. The leader of our women’s group had told me about her before because part of our women’s group service is providing “emergency food” rations to women in the community who truly need help. (Yes, this is not sustainable, but there are times when crisis aid is necessary. It remains true that development in general must always strive to be sustainable, and this is certainly central to the Peace Corp’s approach to development.)

Ataka’s house was grim and barren. I had to force myself to look at her in order not to gawk or stare at her empty house. They do not have clothes, bedding, furniture – nothing. It looks literally like an abandoned house, strewn with bits of garbage. Yet 10 people live there. I do not know how they survive. I do not know how the woman keeps on every day. She has a humble smile on her face – a wizened, weary demeanor. Yet she does smile and carry on. These women take the concept of “strong women” to the next level. Ministering to others takes your mind off yourself. And learning about the realities of others often quickly changes one’s perspective.

After meeting and speaking with Ataka, I feel somehow forever changed. She told me her and her family have been suffering like this for the past nine years. How she survives, how she keeps going despite her pain, I don’t know. When I asked her, she simply cited a faith in God. All I could tell her was again and again that she inspires me, that she is strong and powerful beyond measure.

What sticks with me the most are Ataka’s words, “I am a woman his exists on air.” She has nothing, but somehow she manages to survive.

Seeing Ataka really brings home the importance of education. Today in class, I found myself unusually upset when my learners were not taking their lessons seriously. When one day you meet a woman who is on the edge of survival, who has only a 5th grade education, and who wishes more than anything she could have a job to support herself and her family, and the next you are in a classroom of students who DO HAVE the privilege of an education, but who are not taking it seriously – it wears on you. But these are the same problems that have been existing probably since traditional education was invented. Perhaps these are always the generational struggles between students and teachers. I just wish more than anything that I could reach them in a deeper, more fundamental way. That they would appreciate more the struggle for Namibian independence which is allowing them to realize their right to education.

But again, all we can do is try – all we can do is together take small steps in the right direction. And perhaps, like Ataka, one of the best things that we can do is to have faith.